A Change of Pace

I know you’re probably thinking who is this girl? For those of you that know me, you could say the holidays aren’t really my thing. I have potentially said that out loud and yes, I meant it. That was also me who puked in my mouth a little when my cheery friend Alyson proclaimed, “Christmas is love”.  I squirmed a little just typing that. Well I’ve come to a new conclusion. As much as it pains me to say it… Christmas isn’t so bad. Maybe I’m just saying that because I’ve managed to wiggle my way in on my awesome brother and sister-in-laws Hawaiian Christmas vacation (Mele Kalikamaka) but I think I might have finally figured out what works for me. Ahhh the beauty of getting older.  Christmas lost its sparkle for me somewhere between the time when I found out about the whole Santa Claus thing and becoming an adult (or at least realizing that it takes a lot of work to pull off the holidays.) I guess all those Christmas I spent dreading and loathing was not all lost. I realized that I have learned quite a few things. So here’s what works for me.

1.)    Put aside perfection. In the past, I was always worried about being perfect, find the perfect gift, perfect this, perfect that. Truth: There is NO such thing- so do what works for you! I would walk around the mall for hours scouring for the perfect gift. It had to be great – nothing less. I also wanted it to be a surprise… I passed by plenty a useful and good enough gift. How I learned this was dumb: I spent 2 weeks of one December of my life in search of the “perfect gift” for a beloved sister in law. When I found “the one”,  I doubted it but it was getting to crunch time so I got it, sent it off, and left it at that. The next Christmas at our work White Elephant exchange guess what I got…. That “perfect” gift. Turns out – what we make out to be “perfect” in our heads is someone elses gag work gift the next year.

2.)    Ask for help, suggestions, etc. If you don’t know what to get someone- ask them. Nothing says “Hey I think you’re great” like getting someone exactly what they want. If they say I don’t know, or I’ll get back to you and then never do… never fear… do your best and send a gift receipt. Gift receipts were the invention of a very wise person. When shopping- get one for everything!!! Tape it right to the tag/ item. Don’t be afraid ,you are everyone a huge favor. Along these same lines, if someone asks you what you want for Christmas- tell them… as in send them the link to exactly what you want, a picture, or hell even go out and buy it yourself and send them the bill. I’ve found you won’t get what you REALLY want unless you ask for it. Don’t be the person who whines about not getting what they really wanted because they wanted someone to read their minds. Yes friends you know we do this. Be realistic though or have a solid plan B. Like if you tell your man you want a brand new car…. Also send him the link to the really great earrings you saw online. I know those commercials make it look like everyone wakes up to new Lexus with a big red bow in the driveway but chances are this might not be your year.

3.)    If you don’t love it…just say NO!  This is true in real life as well as for the holidays… you should use this tactic when shopping, when committing to events, and when eating cookies.  When shopping – if you don’t love it don’t buy it! You work hard for your money! When committing to events don’t be afraid to say no and don’t feel bad about it. Be honest and say no upfront. There is nothing worse than counting on someone to help you or be somewhere and they text you at the last minute, “sorry, insert lame excuse here”. So don’t do that to people either. If you don’t want to do something just tell whoever “no” up front. No excuse necessary. No thank you! Repeat after me, No thank you! If you are a perpetual yes girl like me, the first few times you do this it will be super akward. Get over it – FAST! You’ll also find people will think something is wrong with you- that is also fine. They generally won’t voice their concern to you- you’ll find out from someone else.  If people think you’re mad at them because you turn down an invite, that is not your concern. Truth: people respect you when you are upfront. So say no when you aren’t loving it and if you commit, honor your word.
As for the cookies or other sweets on that holiday buffet if you don’t LOVE it after a bite- be done with it! Save those calories for something you find fabulous- or proceed to the bar and have another drink.

PLEASE- Do not use this tactic in regards to your job, paying your bills, or otherwise necessary evils. While it may feel super good to tell your crazy boss to take a flying leap- you may not love the consequences of that later in the day. Keep your eye on the prize…for now…

4.)    A little planning goes a long way. I am not a planner by nature. I don’t like to commit to things too far out or fill my calendar too full like some people I know. All I’m suggesting here is to make a list really. It may already be too late for you here for this year. In that case, promptly go buy a big bottle of booze and proceed to panic. Sometime around August (this is only what works for me… another month may be better for you) write down everyone that you plan to buy for and put a dollar amount by their name. Start saving cash and getting ideas. Better yet if someone mentions something they’d like you can buy it early. My goals in life these days are to pay for Christmas with cash only (no credit cards) and be done shopping before December 1. I absolutely will not shop on Black Friday. It never fails that someone will invade my personal bubble and I’ll start sweating profusely and storm out of a store after I’ve waited in line for an obscene amount of time. This makes me feel bad so I don’t do it. However, I like feeling like I get everything on sale so I generally get all my shopping done someone between the Saturday after Thanksgiving and December  1. I will take a day off work to do this if it means avoiding the mall on the weekend or whatever. Also shopping late at night during the week works. The less people I come in contact with in public the better. I think shopping makes people rude… could just be me. I know I am very fortunate in the fact that in my family we generally do group gifts – in that case count on the natural planners in your life and send them cash to make the magic happen. There is absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating others natural abilities.

My plan for tomorrow is a list of totally great and reasonably priced gift ideas! I cleared my mind of my holiday humbug and freed up room for all this other fun stuff.  In the meantime, if you have any helpful holiday tips feel free to share them in the comments below.