Happy Thursday Friends! So I survived the 5K on Saturday. It wasn’t pretty by any means but it was good for me in a couple ways. All the way up to the start line I was going to mall walk that sucker. Turns out that Connie Competitive over here just can’t stand to have people pass her arse. So in total I ran maybe half of it. As soon as I saw the 2 mile marker I decided I had to run the rest no matter what…plus I could see Cankles about a block or two ahead of me and that hoochie mama was not going to finish before me. Yes this shiz actually does go through my head. Another thing that always amazes me at these runs is the broad range of people they attract. Makes for some seriously good people watching. It also doesn’t help that my friend Chris who ran it with me is as big of a judger as me, but it does make for some pretty entertaining conversations. Hell – party of 1? Reservations confirmed! Anyways, in true chubby girl fashion after I burned that 300 calories I rewarded myself with a big ol’ breakfast. Best.Waffle.EVER!!! (The Egg&I local people- go there for realz!) I am a sucker for some breakfast! Ever since Saturday I’ve been super motivated to run on my own (said this girl NEVER-ha). I’ve been going regularly and pushing myself to run a little further every day. Pretty soon I’ll be back up to 2 miles straight haha. Actually this may be mostly because they posted pictures of the run and i managed to catch a glimpse of the one of me crossing the finish line. Why do they do that? No one really looks good running do they? Unfortunately, I look like my thighs caught a bad case of elephantitis. So sad!! Note to self wear full body suit in public from now on!
I’ve received lots of positive feedback about my ramblings over the last few weeks and I want you to know that I sincerely appreciate it! I’ve even had some requests for topics- which I LOVE by the way. I’m happy to accommodate my fans as well!! =) I have a good one coming with my birthday looming ever so near… so stayed tuned for that action! And if you have anything you want this girls advice or opinions on… just shoot me an email @ melschroeder32@hotmail.com or leave it in the comments. I’ll be happy to give you my 2 cents!!! Just a warning you may be subject to public humiliation if you have some serious craziness going on so if you don’t want it repeated out loud you better tell me that up front.
Speaking of birthday looming, weird things happening with this girl. I haven’t been able to sleep and have been overall extremely grouchy. I feel so old. For some reason my brain likes to worry about all sorts of stuff. Random stuff. When I was much younger like I dunno maybe 20-21ish, I set these milestones in my head about where I’d be at certain points in my life. And now those milestones are coming up and I need to just realize I spent most of my early 20’s wasted face and let it go. Hmmmm, so I just maybe realized that I potentially do my best life planning when drunko… is that a problem? Anyways, looks like I'm not going to be a super model, a lottery winner, a CEO, or uber-rich this go around- guess i'll get shmammered and work on plan B. I plan on celebrating the shiz out of this bday. This might include me dancing like an akward white girl and a girls day at the theatre watching Magic Mike. HOLLLLLLA!! I'm pretty sure that movie coming out this weekend is the universes bday gift to me personally!! Thank you Universe and Mr. Mc Cona-HEEEEYYYY!!!! I'll update you fools on the weekends shannanigans next week!! You may even get a partay pic!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Adventures in Marinating
I found a new friend over the weekend. His name is Marinade. He made porkchops so delicious I can't stop thinking about him and all of his saucy cousins. I seriously don't know why I've never tried it before but I am hooked!!! Here is the marinade I used for said porky chops...
http://www.food.com/recipe/grilled-pork-chops-marinade-175264
Of course, in true Schroeder fashion, I didn't measure anything I just eyeballed it. Also, instead of plain old oregano I used Kirklands (from Costco) Rustic Tuscan seasoning. It had oregano and lemon in it like the marinade so I went with it. After letting it sit in a ziploc bag in the fridge for a few hours I grilled them... super delicious!!!
Those turned out so good I decided to try chicken Fajitas on Monday. All I did for these bad boys was throw the chicken in a ziploc baggie, squeeze about 5 fresh limes in the bag, added roughly the same amount of olive oil., then dumped in some good ol' taco seasoning. I let those suckers fiesta over night in the fridge and grilled it up. I sauteed some peppers and onions on the side.Then this happened: BEST.FAJITAS.EVER!!!
As you may or may not know, when something is working for me I tend to go with it. Call me compulsive... it's cool... So my next lil chicky adventures are taking a dip in the marinade pond as we speak... Cilantro Lime Garlic, Teriyaki, and that same fabulous one that I linked to above.... ohhh the possibilities.
In other news, my first birthday gift arrived today. Super awesome! There's nothing that makes me feel better about getting older than getting new stuff!!! I'm simple like that. I seriously can't believe I am this old. I mean I know what comes after 34 but in my head I still feel like 20-somethingish....well except for every morning when I get up and feel sore, and when I have one (ha!) too many frosty beverages and it takes me down for the count for a few days. Sigh. Ok never mind that isn't making me feel any better. On the bright side, I have the day off work, get to eat cake, and I'll never be this young again!!
Just in case you need some ideas of what to make with your marinated meat here are some suggestions:
broccoli salad:
http://www.jamhands.net/2010/03/bodacious-broccoli-salad.html
and for dessert:
http://dessert.food.com/recipe/butterfinger-pie-29478
http://www.food.com/recipe/grilled-pork-chops-marinade-175264
Of course, in true Schroeder fashion, I didn't measure anything I just eyeballed it. Also, instead of plain old oregano I used Kirklands (from Costco) Rustic Tuscan seasoning. It had oregano and lemon in it like the marinade so I went with it. After letting it sit in a ziploc bag in the fridge for a few hours I grilled them... super delicious!!!
Those turned out so good I decided to try chicken Fajitas on Monday. All I did for these bad boys was throw the chicken in a ziploc baggie, squeeze about 5 fresh limes in the bag, added roughly the same amount of olive oil., then dumped in some good ol' taco seasoning. I let those suckers fiesta over night in the fridge and grilled it up. I sauteed some peppers and onions on the side.Then this happened: BEST.FAJITAS.EVER!!!
As you may or may not know, when something is working for me I tend to go with it. Call me compulsive... it's cool... So my next lil chicky adventures are taking a dip in the marinade pond as we speak... Cilantro Lime Garlic, Teriyaki, and that same fabulous one that I linked to above.... ohhh the possibilities.
In other news, my first birthday gift arrived today. Super awesome! There's nothing that makes me feel better about getting older than getting new stuff!!! I'm simple like that. I seriously can't believe I am this old. I mean I know what comes after 34 but in my head I still feel like 20-somethingish....well except for every morning when I get up and feel sore, and when I have one (ha!) too many frosty beverages and it takes me down for the count for a few days. Sigh. Ok never mind that isn't making me feel any better. On the bright side, I have the day off work, get to eat cake, and I'll never be this young again!!
Just in case you need some ideas of what to make with your marinated meat here are some suggestions:
broccoli salad:
http://www.jamhands.net/2010/03/bodacious-broccoli-salad.html
and for dessert:
http://dessert.food.com/recipe/butterfinger-pie-29478
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Your very own lab rat
Fun stuff today!! I’m going to be your own personal lab rat. Some product reviews just for you!
There is nothing I hate more than spending my hard earned money on something hoping it will work- only to find out it doesn’t! So here are a few things I’ve tried lately and what I think.
One of my new favorite things in life is Birchbox. Basically, its $10 a month and they send you a box of beauty samples. Why I love this? I am awkward as a girl (I blame that on going through my teens with no sisters) and frankly sometimes I need a push in the right direction when it comes to what I should be doing with myself beauty-wise. So for $10 I get to try a few things that I probably would never have spent the money on for a full sized product. Plus, I get a box of wrapped pretties in the mail every month. It’s like Christmas –without the crazy family-every.month. So this month here is what I got:
Masqueology Pore Minimizing Mask: This was very weird but totally awesome. It was like a Jason scary movie mask. It had a thin cloth that had been marinated in a mushroom extract serum inside. Basically you lay it over your face and chill out for 20 minutes and voila! Ladies: a warning- your men do not need to see you when you do this. Frankly- you will look scary and they just don’t get that sometimes things have to look worse for a little bit to look better. So, pick a time when you have about 20 minutes of alone time and knock yourself out. I did mine before bed. The serum on it is a weird consistency but it is very soothing and doesn’t smell bad. Once you are done with the mask you just pull it off and chuck it. Then rub in the remaining stuff on your face. Every mask I’ve done before this you had to let it dry so I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t “feel” it working (you know me – I want results NOW!!!). What happens next is pretty much awesome…when I woke up the next day my skin was super soft and much smoother. Downside they are $8 a pop (as in per mask, not per box =() soooo turns out I might have to put this on my special treat list or try to find a cheaper substitute. Just keeping it real..on a budget friends!
Next up was the Stila One step Bronze. This was not just a sample! It was a full on legit full size bottle I think. I love bronzer. I think it is better than blush. That’s just me and you probably should definitely not take my word for it. I’m no frills- I want to look like I’ve tried without trying too much. I have been using only powder bronzer for as long as I’ve used it. A few swipes with a big ol’ brush and hello sun goddess… this stuff is more like a foundation. I was a little scared to try it because I silently judge people all day in my head when they look retarded in public and I do not want to be that girl. Plus I’m way too tall to pull off being an Oompa Loompa. So I used my usual foundation and then applied this over the top of that. It was just ok for me… Normally, when I do the powder bronzer I can just sweep it on the spots where the sun naturally hits and I think it looks very natural. The liquid doesn’t give that effect as much, in my opinion. Plus it’s a little harder to add more or less in areas where you might want to. So, although, I was stoked to get a full size product for cheap-o I think I’ll stick to my drugstore powder bronzer. As a side note, I just read the directions for use and apparently you are supposed to apply foundation after using this. I’m the worst girl ever! I’ll let you know if switching the order of applications finds me a whole new love for this—stay tuned….
theBalm® cosmetics Stainiac:
This is one that I would probably never have tried on my own – but I would definitely buy it now that I’ve tried it. I love love love it. I have very thin lips and am not all that in love with lipstick. If I use anything its Chap Stick or lip gloss. I used to work with a lady that wore bright arse lipstick every day and she’d always have it all over her teeth and face and I never knew a thing about what just happened after I got done talking to her other than the lipstick tragedy she had going on. I also do not want to be that girl. This gives my lips a nice natural color slightly darker than normal and helps define them a little more. I have to use Chap Stick over the top of this though because I feel like it’s a little dry. Not a problem though, because I normally use softlips like it’s my job anyways. You can also use this as a blush. In fear of looking like a circus clown I haven’t tried that yet. When and if I do – I’ll let you know.
I haven’t tried the self-tanning wipes or smelled the John Varvatos cologne yet… I like to spread out my surprises. I’ll keep you posted on that action though.
So my last product review for today has to do with something I’m VERY sensitive about. My feet. Birth defect #89. This goes back a LOOOONG way for me. I’ve had very ginormous feet since a very early age. Actually, it isn’t as bad now because it seems more common. At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m hanging out with the trannies in the big girl aisle at Payless. My problem seems to stem from the fact that I fall somewhere in between skis and pontoons. Skis are definitely too small and pontoons are slightly too big. So, I have to pick the lesser of two evils on pretty much every pair of shoes I buy. Which leads to a lot of blisters and other uncomfortable stuff going on with my feet. Good news is that you do get used to it. Bad news bears, it still sucks. So imagine my delight when I came across this:
Band-Aid Friction Block.
This is supposed to reduce rubbing on skin by forming an invisible barrier. I put this to the test today when I wore some sandals that fall into the ski category. Last time I wore them I got 2 blisters on each foot. The tube looks like a mini stick of deodorant. It smells good too!! Me likey. However, I am not convinced it is worth the money. I still feel uncomfortable rubbing where I’ve applied it (so I did round 2 halfway through the day). I do not have full on blisters but it definitely doesn’t make your shoes fit better. duh. Also it says do not use on blisters- so you’d be pretty much f’d if you decided to try it after the fact. My take on this: is save the $8.50 and buy yourself a margarita and a box of band aids.
Update on running status:
My neck/shoulder didn’t get the memo that me signing up for the 5k meant it should feel better. So, I’ve been walking –which is better than nothing I know but it’s not looking too good. I don’t imagine anything drastic will be changing in the next 9 days so I’m prolly looking at walking that sucker. =( I guess I just have to realize that sometimes you just have to be super patient in life. Sigh… I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! Pouty face.
On the bright side, it’s just about the weekend!!! =)
6/22/2012 ****UPDATE:
I would like to recant my original findings on Stila One step Bronze... I used it as directed and my results were MUUUUCCCHHHHH better. Me likey. However, I am still all in on my cheapy drugstore bronzer powder. Using it as directed was a little too much makeup for my sorry arse. And I am still cheap... so the drugstore stuff works for me... but I will definitely rock my bottle of this while i've got it!
Also- i would like to add my review on the Self Tanning Wipes: HOLY MOTHER of BABY jeezuz!!!!!! I thought in my head they were a bad idea... but the desire to be tan and find the next great thing was just too much for me... so i whipped one of these out yesterday before work and gave myself a wipe down. I tried not to push too hard to use up all the juice too fast. I was pretty satisified with the application. It SEEMED easy enough. Fast forward to after work. (Apparently the flourescent lighting at Cube City had me mesmerized b/c I seemed to think I looked fine all day.) So I rush home throw on shorts and a tank top and zoom out the door for volleyball. I'm in a super big hurry and all flustered. I get about a block down the road and I was like wow theres a weird spot on my arm. It must be the sun reflecting weird off my mirror. Right?? Right? RIGHT????? WRONG!!! its a new breed of spotted striped hooka looking right back in the rearview at me. I seriously looked like a freak show. Worst self tan EVER... Like my daddy always says, if it sounds too good to be true - it is... (ummm remind me sometime to tell you the air car story-YIKES!) Anyways, back to volleyball.... my awesome new streaky look distracted the other team enough that we totally won... or...it could have been my teammates also played awesome. Oh well captain distraction over here did her part...
There is nothing I hate more than spending my hard earned money on something hoping it will work- only to find out it doesn’t! So here are a few things I’ve tried lately and what I think.
One of my new favorite things in life is Birchbox. Basically, its $10 a month and they send you a box of beauty samples. Why I love this? I am awkward as a girl (I blame that on going through my teens with no sisters) and frankly sometimes I need a push in the right direction when it comes to what I should be doing with myself beauty-wise. So for $10 I get to try a few things that I probably would never have spent the money on for a full sized product. Plus, I get a box of wrapped pretties in the mail every month. It’s like Christmas –without the crazy family-every.month. So this month here is what I got:
Next up was the Stila One step Bronze. This was not just a sample! It was a full on legit full size bottle I think. I love bronzer. I think it is better than blush. That’s just me and you probably should definitely not take my word for it. I’m no frills- I want to look like I’ve tried without trying too much. I have been using only powder bronzer for as long as I’ve used it. A few swipes with a big ol’ brush and hello sun goddess… this stuff is more like a foundation. I was a little scared to try it because I silently judge people all day in my head when they look retarded in public and I do not want to be that girl. Plus I’m way too tall to pull off being an Oompa Loompa. So I used my usual foundation and then applied this over the top of that. It was just ok for me… Normally, when I do the powder bronzer I can just sweep it on the spots where the sun naturally hits and I think it looks very natural. The liquid doesn’t give that effect as much, in my opinion. Plus it’s a little harder to add more or less in areas where you might want to. So, although, I was stoked to get a full size product for cheap-o I think I’ll stick to my drugstore powder bronzer. As a side note, I just read the directions for use and apparently you are supposed to apply foundation after using this. I’m the worst girl ever! I’ll let you know if switching the order of applications finds me a whole new love for this—stay tuned….
theBalm® cosmetics Stainiac:
This is one that I would probably never have tried on my own – but I would definitely buy it now that I’ve tried it. I love love love it. I have very thin lips and am not all that in love with lipstick. If I use anything its Chap Stick or lip gloss. I used to work with a lady that wore bright arse lipstick every day and she’d always have it all over her teeth and face and I never knew a thing about what just happened after I got done talking to her other than the lipstick tragedy she had going on. I also do not want to be that girl. This gives my lips a nice natural color slightly darker than normal and helps define them a little more. I have to use Chap Stick over the top of this though because I feel like it’s a little dry. Not a problem though, because I normally use softlips like it’s my job anyways. You can also use this as a blush. In fear of looking like a circus clown I haven’t tried that yet. When and if I do – I’ll let you know.
I haven’t tried the self-tanning wipes or smelled the John Varvatos cologne yet… I like to spread out my surprises. I’ll keep you posted on that action though.
So my last product review for today has to do with something I’m VERY sensitive about. My feet. Birth defect #89. This goes back a LOOOONG way for me. I’ve had very ginormous feet since a very early age. Actually, it isn’t as bad now because it seems more common. At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m hanging out with the trannies in the big girl aisle at Payless. My problem seems to stem from the fact that I fall somewhere in between skis and pontoons. Skis are definitely too small and pontoons are slightly too big. So, I have to pick the lesser of two evils on pretty much every pair of shoes I buy. Which leads to a lot of blisters and other uncomfortable stuff going on with my feet. Good news is that you do get used to it. Bad news bears, it still sucks. So imagine my delight when I came across this:
Band-Aid Friction Block.
This is supposed to reduce rubbing on skin by forming an invisible barrier. I put this to the test today when I wore some sandals that fall into the ski category. Last time I wore them I got 2 blisters on each foot. The tube looks like a mini stick of deodorant. It smells good too!! Me likey. However, I am not convinced it is worth the money. I still feel uncomfortable rubbing where I’ve applied it (so I did round 2 halfway through the day). I do not have full on blisters but it definitely doesn’t make your shoes fit better. duh. Also it says do not use on blisters- so you’d be pretty much f’d if you decided to try it after the fact. My take on this: is save the $8.50 and buy yourself a margarita and a box of band aids.
Update on running status:
My neck/shoulder didn’t get the memo that me signing up for the 5k meant it should feel better. So, I’ve been walking –which is better than nothing I know but it’s not looking too good. I don’t imagine anything drastic will be changing in the next 9 days so I’m prolly looking at walking that sucker. =( I guess I just have to realize that sometimes you just have to be super patient in life. Sigh… I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! Pouty face.
On the bright side, it’s just about the weekend!!! =)
6/22/2012 ****UPDATE:
I would like to recant my original findings on Stila One step Bronze... I used it as directed and my results were MUUUUCCCHHHHH better. Me likey. However, I am still all in on my cheapy drugstore bronzer powder. Using it as directed was a little too much makeup for my sorry arse. And I am still cheap... so the drugstore stuff works for me... but I will definitely rock my bottle of this while i've got it!
Also- i would like to add my review on the Self Tanning Wipes: HOLY MOTHER of BABY jeezuz!!!!!! I thought in my head they were a bad idea... but the desire to be tan and find the next great thing was just too much for me... so i whipped one of these out yesterday before work and gave myself a wipe down. I tried not to push too hard to use up all the juice too fast. I was pretty satisified with the application. It SEEMED easy enough. Fast forward to after work. (Apparently the flourescent lighting at Cube City had me mesmerized b/c I seemed to think I looked fine all day.) So I rush home throw on shorts and a tank top and zoom out the door for volleyball. I'm in a super big hurry and all flustered. I get about a block down the road and I was like wow theres a weird spot on my arm. It must be the sun reflecting weird off my mirror. Right?? Right? RIGHT????? WRONG!!! its a new breed of spotted striped hooka looking right back in the rearview at me. I seriously looked like a freak show. Worst self tan EVER... Like my daddy always says, if it sounds too good to be true - it is... (ummm remind me sometime to tell you the air car story-YIKES!) Anyways, back to volleyball.... my awesome new streaky look distracted the other team enough that we totally won... or...it could have been my teammates also played awesome. Oh well captain distraction over here did her part...
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Confessions of a chubster
Hi there! It’s been awhile… I know I’m sorry. Honestly, I didn't know anyone missed me until I got some crap for not keeping this up. So I’m back. I haven’t really been baking a whole lot these days. So sad I know. Long story short, I’m old and I hurt my neck. I never really thought I was all that active of a person but when you go from normal to barely moving for an extended period of time a few things happen. First, baking seems like way too much of a contact sport for your liking. Secondly, your arse starts to expand at a frightful pace- the mere thought of sweets causes you to swell unexpectedly. Thirdly, after pain meds and a little wine working that mixer and oven can cause bodily harm. So anyways… no cake balls but I’d like to think my sarcasm and charming wit are mostly still intact so I might just have to focus on that for a while. Hope that’s ok…
Back to the whole not doing much for the last ohhh 4 months or so. I don’t know if you know this or not but its officially swim suit season. I am finding it extremely hard to get excited about it this year. I haven’t been doing anything more than getting up from the couch to grab a snack due to above mentioned injury and amazingly I’ve been able to keep the scale about the same but holy ballz… it’s just not the same. So in true Melissa fashion I’ve decided it is time to take drastic action. Granted it might only last a couple days, but I have to hit it hard while motivation is high so when I go back to eating bon-bons like it’s my job I’ll have a couple extra days before I move back to the fat pants. Drastic action 1: Sign up for a 5k…my thinking was that will get me running again. Good call. So in real life I ran 2 days last week and now I feel guilty every day when my alarm goes off and I roll over to hit snooze because my neck hurts too bad to run. I’m not as tough as I used to be that’s for sure! If only good intentions burned some fat off this arse, I’d be so good to go. Drastic action 2: started a “diet” on a Tuesday. I’m a Monday girl. As in every Monday. And normally it only lasts until Tuesday or Wednesday before that ol’ Orange leaf is calling my name. Thankfully for the holiday this week… I might just make it to Thursday!! Drastic action 3: drink liquid a-hole…ok not really. According to Dr. Oz drinking a few tablespoons of apple cider vinegar is supposed to help rev up your metabolism. I need to seriously stop watching that show…he is to the supplement/ vitamin market what Flava Flav is to oversized accessories. Turns out that once you manage to choke that sweet liquid A down – the after taste and churning in your stomach make food a whole lot less desirable- I’m gonna stick with it a few more days… this could work. Drastic action 4: I’ve been trying to work from home less. What I’ve learned about working from home is that a lot of time snacking seems like way more fun than almost everything work related. So if I get stuck on something I’m like a few crackers will definitely help me figure that out. You know what they say…once you pop… you can’t stop. The added upside of going to work for my diet plan is that because I have publicly stated laws of what not to wear to work I can’t wear my pajama bottoms or stretchy gym shorts. Drastic action 5: tried on a pair of pants that I wore for one day when I was a skinny minny. Oh.yes.I.did! This may not be advisable for everyone depending on your mental status. But I needed a reality check. They fit mostly. By fit, I mean I got them buttoned and zipped. And by mostly, I mean I didn’t have to jump off the 4th floor of the parking garage to get into them. Would I wear them in public? Hail to the no. That would be in violation of at least 3 of my fashion conduct rules.
Well I’m off to go attempt to run… I’ll keep you updated on my 5k progress, showstoppa in swimsuit status, and probably a few other life observations. =)
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