Your very own lab rat

Fun stuff today!! I’m going to be your own personal lab rat. Some product reviews just for you!


There is nothing I hate more than spending my hard earned money on something hoping it will work- only to find out it doesn’t! So here are a few things I’ve tried lately and what I think.

One of my new favorite things in life is Birchbox. Basically, its $10 a month and they send you a box of beauty samples. Why I love this? I am awkward as a girl (I blame that on going through my teens with no sisters) and frankly sometimes I need a push in the right direction when it comes to what I should be doing with myself beauty-wise. So for $10 I get to try a few things that I probably would never have spent the money on for a full sized product. Plus, I get a box of wrapped pretties in the mail every month. It’s like Christmas –without the crazy family-every.month. So this month here is what I got:

Masqueology Pore Minimizing Mask: This was very weird but totally awesome. It was like a Jason scary movie mask. It had a thin cloth that had been marinated in a mushroom extract serum inside. Basically you lay it over your face and chill out for 20 minutes and voila! Ladies: a warning- your men do not need to see you when you do this. Frankly- you will look scary and they just don’t get that sometimes things have to look worse for a little bit to look better. So, pick a time when you have about 20 minutes of alone time and knock yourself out. I did mine before bed. The serum on it is a weird consistency but it is very soothing and doesn’t smell bad. Once you are done with the mask you just pull it off and chuck it. Then rub in the remaining stuff on your face. Every mask I’ve done before this you had to let it dry so I was a little disappointed that I couldn’t “feel” it working (you know me – I want results NOW!!!). What happens next is pretty much awesome…when I woke up the next day my skin was super soft and much smoother. Downside they are $8 a pop (as in per mask, not per box =() soooo turns out I might have to put this on my special treat list or try to find a cheaper substitute. Just keeping it real..on a budget friends!

Next up was the Stila One step Bronze. This was not just a sample! It was a full on legit full size bottle I think. I love bronzer. I think it is better than blush. That’s just me and you probably should definitely not take my word for it. I’m no frills- I want to look like I’ve tried without trying too much. I have been using only powder bronzer for as long as I’ve used it. A few swipes with a big ol’ brush and hello sun goddess… this stuff is more like a foundation. I was a little scared to try it because I silently judge people all day in my head when they look retarded in public and I do not want to be that girl. Plus I’m way too tall to pull off being an Oompa Loompa. So I used my usual foundation and then applied this over the top of that. It was just ok for me… Normally, when I do the powder bronzer I can just sweep it on the spots where the sun naturally hits and I think it looks very natural. The liquid doesn’t give that effect as much, in my opinion. Plus it’s a little harder to add more or less in areas where you might want to. So, although, I was stoked to get a full size product for cheap-o I think I’ll stick to my drugstore powder bronzer. As a side note, I just read the directions for use and apparently you are supposed to apply foundation after using this. I’m the worst girl ever! I’ll let you know if switching the order of applications finds me a whole new love for this—stay tuned….

theBalm® cosmetics Stainiac:

This is one that I would probably never have tried on my own – but I would definitely buy it now that I’ve tried it. I love love love it. I have very thin lips and am not all that in love with lipstick. If I use anything its Chap Stick or lip gloss. I used to work with a lady that wore bright arse lipstick every day and she’d always have it all over her teeth and face and I never knew a thing about what just happened after I got done talking to her other than the lipstick tragedy she had going on. I also do not want to be that girl. This gives my lips a nice natural color slightly darker than normal and helps define them a little more. I have to use Chap Stick over the top of this though because I feel like it’s a little dry. Not a problem though, because I normally use softlips like it’s my job anyways. You can also use this as a blush. In fear of looking like a circus clown I haven’t tried that yet. When and if I do – I’ll let you know.

I haven’t tried the self-tanning wipes or smelled the John Varvatos cologne yet… I like to spread out my surprises. I’ll keep you posted on that action though.

So my last product review for today has to do with something I’m VERY sensitive about. My feet. Birth defect #89. This goes back a LOOOONG way for me. I’ve had very ginormous feet since a very early age. Actually, it isn’t as bad now because it seems more common. At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m hanging out with the trannies in the big girl aisle at Payless. My problem seems to stem from the fact that I fall somewhere in between skis and pontoons. Skis are definitely too small and pontoons are slightly too big. So, I have to pick the lesser of two evils on pretty much every pair of shoes I buy. Which leads to a lot of blisters and other uncomfortable stuff going on with my feet. Good news is that you do get used to it. Bad news bears, it still sucks. So imagine my delight when I came across this:

Band-Aid Friction Block.

This is supposed to reduce rubbing on skin by forming an invisible barrier. I put this to the test today when I wore some sandals that fall into the ski category. Last time I wore them I got 2 blisters on each foot. The tube looks like a mini stick of deodorant. It smells good too!! Me likey. However, I am not convinced it is worth the money. I still feel uncomfortable rubbing where I’ve applied it (so I did round 2 halfway through the day). I do not have full on blisters but it definitely doesn’t make your shoes fit better. duh. Also it says do not use on blisters- so you’d be pretty much f’d if you decided to try it after the fact. My take on this: is save the $8.50 and buy yourself a margarita and a box of band aids.

Update on running status:

My neck/shoulder didn’t get the memo that me signing up for the 5k meant it should feel better. So, I’ve been walking –which is better than nothing I know but it’s not looking too good. I don’t imagine anything drastic will be changing in the next 9 days so I’m prolly looking at walking that sucker. =( I guess I just have to realize that sometimes you just have to be super patient in life. Sigh… I want what I want and I want it NOW!!! Pouty face.

On the bright side, it’s just about the weekend!!! =)


6/22/2012 ****UPDATE:
I would like to recant my original findings on Stila One step Bronze... I used it as directed and my results were MUUUUCCCHHHHH better. Me likey. However, I am still all in on my cheapy drugstore bronzer powder. Using it as directed was a little too much makeup for my sorry arse. And I am still cheap... so the drugstore stuff works for me... but I will definitely rock my bottle of this while i've got it!

Also- i would like to add my review on the Self Tanning Wipes: HOLY MOTHER of BABY jeezuz!!!!!! I thought in my head they were a bad idea... but the desire to be tan and find the next great thing was just too much for me... so i whipped one of these out yesterday before work and gave myself a wipe down. I tried not to push too hard to use up all the juice too fast. I was pretty satisified with the application. It SEEMED easy enough. Fast forward to after work. (Apparently the flourescent lighting at Cube City had me mesmerized b/c I seemed to think I looked fine all day.) So I rush home throw on shorts and a tank top and zoom out the door for volleyball. I'm in a super big hurry and all flustered. I get about a block down the road and I was like wow theres a weird spot on my arm. It must be the sun reflecting weird off my mirror. Right?? Right? RIGHT????? WRONG!!! its a new breed of spotted striped hooka looking right back in the rearview at me. I seriously looked like a freak show. Worst self tan EVER... Like my daddy always says, if it sounds too good to be true - it is... (ummm remind me sometime to tell you the air car story-YIKES!) Anyways, back to volleyball.... my awesome new streaky look distracted the other team enough that we totally won... or...it could have been my teammates also played awesome. Oh well captain distraction over here did her part...